Sunday, March 02, 2003

OK, life with an added child just got too hard, and I had to stop blogging for a while. I'm back now, I hope permanently. The nights that Mike's home, he's going to do bathtime and give me an hour to write! Heaven!

So I've got so much going on I could scream. And I have two books bouncing around in my head--which one do I write first? I want to write a whole-foods cookbook. "Thirty weeks to a healthier diet" or something like that. And I want to write a parenting book. I had a good title last night in bed, but I've lost it now. I really need to write things down as soon as I think of them!

So in this parenting book, I guess it'll have to take a Scriptural theme, since Christianity is where my life revolves. And I just got into another discussion at Bible Study with the women about spanking. Yikes. So I guess there'll have to be a chapter about why not to spank. Why it's not effective; short-term, long-term. Why we need to teach our kids how to submit to parental control rather than try to control our kids. It says in Ephesians that we're to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, and that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. It says in Romans that Christians are supposed to submit to secular government authority. There are other passages (Timothy? Titus?) about submission to spiritual authorities. These are instances where the leaders don't take authority--it is freely given. I had to learn to submit to my husband--he was not permitted to try to make me submit or grasp for control. Spanking kids is an attempt to control what they do. How much more beautiful and right it is to teach them the blessings that come from submitting to parental authority--willingly. Not to mention that spanking doesn't work. Children learn nothing from spanking except that if I make someone who is bigger than I am angry, he will hit me to make me comply with his wishes.

I also so want to get across the whole message of Grace versus law. God's old program was law, and it was just a preview, if you will, of his grace. We are in the new program now. Grace means "unmerited favor." None of us deserve grace, yet he's given this gift to all of us. It means we aren't punished for our sins. God doesn't punish us--he simply loves us. He does let us experience the consequences of our sinful behavior, and tries to teach us through those consequences. I firmly believe that as God deals with us, so should we deal with our children. We should not punish our children for misbehavior, but instead help them to deal with the consequences in ways that teach them. Our children will not understand God's grace for them if we don't model it to them, as imperfectly as we do as sinful humans but still a model.

So what if I continue to work on this parenting book? How is it organized?
1. How God deals with us: grace, not the law
2. How to deal with our kids: preserve the bond and model grace
3. Misconception: The Bible tells us to spank
4. Misconception: Spanking is effective
5. Misconception: Spanking does not harm our children
6. What to do instead of spanking: practical parenting tools for all ages of kids
7. Conclusion

So if I work on a section at a time, maybe the jumbled up thoughts in my head with get organized and become a book? I've never done this before, and maybe it's arrogant to assume I'm capable. But I feel I have so much to say!

OK, now it's out there for the world to see. I'm going to write this book. Hold me accountable, OK?

Monday, October 14, 2002

Today I'm feeling elated! I'm so into doing God's work--there's no work like it! We have a person coming to our home church sporadically who may or may not be a Christian, but was raised Catholic and has some confusion about what's the Bible and what's Catholic tradition, and where do they overlap and where do they diverge? And she just agreed to study the Bible together with me! Woo-hoo! We also have an unchurched, possibly unsaved co-worker of Mike's coming for dinner soon with his girlfriend and child. Building relationships is so fun--I love hanging with people anyway. And building relationships in the hopes of being used by God in someone's life? Absolutely awe-inspiring.

Incision has been feeling better last week or so, but is a little sore today. I probably did a little too much laundry (running up and down basement stairs). I've been afraid to begin my workouts again, even though I'm so eager, because I'm afraid I'll exacerbate it again. I want to heal. Praying, praying, praying. But God is teaching me through this to be God-dependant (which is the only smart thing, anyway, after all, what can little ole human me do without God?) and also God-aware, which is great!

Praying hard for my friends Tracy and Dave (just stuff), Carmen and Gour (job hunting like us, also possibly seeking Christ), Brian and Terri (more job hunting--this darn economy), Bernadette (icky, icky dual custody battle and mammoth legal bills).

Playgroup is going well so far. I'm sure this Friday we'll have Amy, Ahlam, Krista and possibly Susan. Maybe even more! This is great because I'm not so good at administrative stuff. God is giving me the ability on this one, all the way. It's been so great having other breastfeeding, slinging mommies in my life.

Also, praying hard for a woman I met at McDonalds at WalMart! LOL She wanted to know about my sling and I gave her my name and number, but forgot to get hers (Again!). So praying she calls and she's breastfeeding her 9 week old daughter (same age as Jaden) so maybe we can become friends--if she'll call!

Lots going on! Lord help me. But I'm definitely feeling perky! LOL

Friday, October 04, 2002

Today I'm feeling sad. OK, my incision has been getting worse and worse, not better and better. I have pretty much been hurting constantly for weeks and weeks (8 to be exact). This morning I had to have another painful procedure in the doctor's office, just like I had a week-and-a-half ago, to try to make it start forming scar tissue. This time it was so unbearable he had to stop the procedure and partially numb me with a Novacaine-like substance. Not that the needles in the incision to numb it felt particularly good. However, right now this minute I feel better than I've felt in weeks, because I'm full of Novacaine and Percocet. No pain at all! Of course, it will only last until the meds wear off, so I'm taking full advantage!

I'm tired of not being able to take care of my home, do laundry, pick up toys and cook dinner. I'm tired of being in pain. I'm tired of not being able to do my morning workouts. If this second silver nitrate procedure doesn't work, I'll have to have my incision revised, which means more surgery and healing starts all over again! When will I get better?

OK, whine over. On a positive note, I am feeling closer to God than ever. I guess I always do when I'm going through a crisis. Why do people always pray more and read more scripture when things are hard? God gets kind of a raw deal there--he's called on more when we need his help. However, it's a load off to know I don't have to relate to him perfectly, that he's there for me regardless. In fact, he let me know in no uncertain terms that through all this crap he's there in a very real way. That's way past cool.

Now, what's God teaching me through all this pain and crap I'm going through. OK, I know for a fact God didn't cause my pain. There's illness and pain because we live in a fallen world. But I do know that every time I've had to suffer through something, God has had something to teach me through it. How am I supposed to be responding to this? What will God teach me? I can't wait to find out!

Monday, September 30, 2002

Today I feel overwhelmed. Yes, I know, I predicted it. However, I didn't predict feeling like crap on top of everything else. Something made my stupid incision start hurting again. I just want to heal.

I have to pay bills today even though I don't want to do anything. I also should make several phone calls, to my friend Joy who is losing her father-in-law, to my friend Terri who may have a flooded basement, and to my son's dentist who keeps promising to squeeze him in and fix his poor hurting mouth, but who has not yet done so.

There are also a million and one other things I need to do. Poor me! LOL

Oh, and Six Flags was OK, and we had a fun time being together as a family, but I'm glad I didn't pay money to go there (other than $8 for parking, what's up with that?). It's not all it's cracked up to be. And I was pretty grossed out by all the blood and gore for Halloween, which is a month away, for God's sake!

Saturday, September 28, 2002

Today I feel happy. Yesterday I gave a mini-lecture on discipline at my La Leche League toddler meeting. It seemed to go well, everyone listened and gave input, and my leader liked it. I like teaching--like feeling that I'm saying something useful that someone might need to hear. It makes me feel contented and peaceful.

Tomorrow we will go to an amusement park, because we got free tickets. Sounds like fun, but part of me knows that I will feel frustrated on Monday when my house is a mess and the laundry is piled up. Oh, well.

So I started a blog today. I don't know where it will lead or what I will write, but it seemed like a good thing to do. I wish I knew more about computers, about blogs and websites, about HTML. But maybe I'll learn a little more as I go along.